Yesterday I was at the library and happened to be looking at Finder and saw some shared folders on other people’s laptops. One of them was “David Raper’s MacBook Pro.” I immediately thought “Wow, I’m very glad my surname is not Raper.” And then I keep thinking about it. Well, at least it is not David Rapist. I imagine he’s constantly having to say things like “Hey, if you rape, you’re a rapist, not a raper!” Maybe he weeps himself to sleep every night, and consoles himself by thinking “At least my name is not Kyle Molester.” Maybe he pronounces it with a French accent — “It’s David Rap-air!” Maybe guys named David get nervous around him, worried that it’s less a name and more of a job description.
